You only lose what you cling to...

In dealing with any sort of loss you're forced to learn about it.
Life slaps us until we get it, or until we break and then we get it.

The way I've found I handle difficult situtions is by researching and trying to understand not just my personal feelings, but productive ways to glean lessons from each experience.

This takes more effort than I ever thought possible and If  I'm being honest, is very difficult.
But it is always rewarded with a calmer sense of myself and more peace. Even if only for a moment.
I'm constantly unlearning. And in unlearning, I'm unburdening myself.
Of what?
Of expectations.
Even if it's only moments of clarity, they are coming more frequently now.
I'm beyond blessed to have people in my life who help redirect my line of thought and care without any expectations in return.

In an effort to hold onto or grasp tightly something that has brought you true joy, it's often possible to lose the thing itself.
When you cling to something, what you're really chasing is the image or illusion of the thing.
An idea
A mirage
Nothing is permanent and you can't fully experience existence if you cling to what is passing.

So just experience it.

I think princess Leia said it best when speaking to Grand Moff Tarkin when she stated, "The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." :)

We live in a culture of attachment. We try to fill the void with things, people, distractions...when what we probably should be doing is focusing on our inner person and refining ourself.
Healing ourself.
What a big pill to swallow.
It's so much easier to focus on other people.
Because when we focus on ourselves even for a moment, we might come face to face with things we have been avoiding.

Unravel the rope and unbind yourself.
That which wraps around you, constricts you.

I sometimes have expectations or hopes when it comes to people in my life. I'm human.
Yet in clinging to these, I find I am causing suffering to myself.

People are only capable of what they are capable of, and nothing more.
They have aspirations to be more conscious, mindful and self-aware and they have the best intentions.
They speak with openness and their words are saturated with clarity and resonate deeply.
Yet the space they are in doesn't fully allow them to act in accordance with their words. Who can?
This is difficult for everyone
But attachment to outcomes causes inextricable grief.
We create this beautiful outcome in our mind of what we wish so deeply to happen. We mold it like we're molding partially dry playdough.
It resists. It isn't pliable.

When we try to control movement rather than letting it flow, we needlessly waste energy.
That's when our emotions take control.
What's scary is that we close ourselves off to what actually is.
Rigidity sets in. Like Stone.

So do not unintentionally forecast and do not weep for the past
When we resist, strife thrives.

Set our intentions and surrender to them.
What is it I want?
Peace.
Deep contentment.
Inner happiness.

More specifically,
Loving friends
Health
Honest and real love

I am accepting that I have no control over anything but myself.
None.

I don't know what's going to happen in 2 minutes, much less 2 weeks or 2 years.

The more tightly we hold onto something, in an atempt to control it, the more chaos that creates.
This causes frustration and struggle.
That door stays shut and bolted.
It turns to iron. Cold and immovable.

But what if you opened up a window. Imagine the endless possibilities that could flow through it that you could never imagine were even possible.
Release.
In clutching and grasping and cracking our nailbeds, bloody, to hold onto something that should be let go, we're missing out.

On harmony.
 Opportunity.
   Awakening
     Equanimity
      On Life.

Surrendering is gentle. It feels calm. Then it feels scary.
Because it's extremely easy to talk a good talk about being mindful and in the present.
But to actually surrender...especially when the heart is involved...


Contraction and expansion.

We can feel when we've stopped doing and started being.

We feel contraction in our chest and gut.
There's tightness. Unease.

We feel expansion in a manifestation of lightness.
We feel openness and peace in our heart or our abdomen or our neck.
We can sleep peacefully through the night.
 
I'm attempting.
I'm unlearning.
I hashtag #acceptance and #peace :)
I know I'll get there.

 
So close your eyes and take a deep inhale.
Exhale.
How are you feeling right now?