Call me by your name

Remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. 
Most of us can't help but live as though we've got two lives to live, one is the mockup, the other the finished version, and then there are all those versions in between.
   But there's only one, and before you know it, your heart is worn out, and, as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it. 
Right now there's sorrow. I don't envy the pain. But I envy you the pain.

if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don't snuff it out, don't be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we'd want to be forgotten is no better. 
       We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything—what a waste.

We are not written for one instrument alone; I am not, neither are you. Everyone goes through a period of Traviamento - when we take, say, a different turn in life, the other via. 
      Dante himself did. Some recover, some pretend to recover, some never come back, some chicken out before even starting, and some, for fear of taking any turns, find themselves leading the wrong life all life long.
      Nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot.
     We're on borrowed time, and time is always borrowed, and the lending agency exacts its premium precisely when we are least prepared to pay and need to borrow more...

6 months living in Rochester...

You deserve love that makes you feel free
To see yourself in them,
not just be their remedy.
You deserve a soft place to land
You deserve consistency.

You deserve a safe space to feel sorrow
Where editing never takes place
But this is nothing new
You've heard this wind before
And you've heard it change to a deep roar

You deserve to get back equally what you give
A balance of heart
Where you don't cower or submit.
Where your vulnerability is safe
Because it's precious
A fragile waif

You deserve the same tenderness you offer up
One you've never known
Because you're easily drawn into the storm.
A cyclone so confusing
Is this love, control, or something unknown?

You deserve to love yourself with intensity
To recoil against that which causes you pain
Because you're as vibrant as the sun
And as gentle as the dew
Your peace coats the blades of grass
It refreshes and it renews.

You deserve to exit as safely as you entered
We began with honesty.
Let us end with it too.
To not look for healing
From the one 
who broke you

When was the last time you went to sleep smiling
And woke up wearing one too.
When was the last time your heart felt protected
Where it was safe to feel freely
Where it didn't need reassurance
Because you knew.

So it's best to sometimes love in silence
Because isn't it ironic
We cast aside those who adore us, 
Adore those who ignore us, 
Hurt those who love us, 
And love those who hurt us.